How to Ask for Help Postpartum (And Actually Accept It) - Episode 64

What's Up Wednesdays!

Ever feel like you should be able to handle everything in postpartum - but deep down, you're barely holding it together? You're not alone. On today's episode, we're talking about the real challenge of asking for help and actually letting yourself accept it. So come on!

Dive deeper into this month's postpartum series:

What is the Fourth Trimester? Understanding the Transition into Parenthood - Episode 62

Emotional Hights, Lows & Tears: Navigating Parenthood After Baby - Episode 63

Contact:
For The Love of Parenting Podcast - Sponsored by Pregnancy Concepts LLC

DM us on IG @pregnacyconcepts

Email us at askus@pregnancyconcepts.com

Remember, as parents, do your best—there are no perfect parents, but countless ways to be loving and supportive. Signing off from the For Love of Parenting podcast. Thanks for listening. Until next time.

Transcript

Title: How to Ask for Help (And Actually Accept It) in Postpartum

Intro Summary

Postpartum isn’t meant to be navigated alone. You’re doing the incredibly important work of caring for a new life—but you deserve to be cared for, too. There’s a myth out there that strong moms don’t need help, but the truth is, real strength is knowing when to ask. In this episode, we’re talking about how to ask for help (and actually accept it) during postpartum—without guilt, hesitation, or second-guessing yourself. Let’s get into it. 

Podcast 

Welcome back for the love of parenting parents. Today, we are going to dive into the topic of How to Ask for Help (and Actually Accept It) in Postpartum

The postpartum period is often described as a blur—of emotions, sleep deprivation, healing, feeding schedules, and figuring out who you are now that your baby is here. There’s so much emphasis on preparing for labor and delivery, but the truth is… postpartum is where the real work begins.

And yet, so many new moms feel like they have to do it all on their own.

What made me want to talk about this topic was a conversation I had with a client just a few weeks ago. She had just welcomed her third child, and her baby was only 4 days old when she came to see me for a breastfeeding consultation. As we talked, I asked her who was in her support circle—who was helping her right now.

She sighed and said something I’ve heard too many times: “I don’t want to burden my family members. They have lives of their own.”

That moment stuck with me. Because that feeling—of being a burden, of not wanting to ask—is incredibly common. And it’s something we need to talk about.

Maybe you’ve felt that same guilt bubble up when someone offers to help. Maybe you’ve told yourself “I should be able to handle this,” even when you’re struggling. Or maybe you're so overwhelmed, you don’t even know what help would look like.

Sound familiar?

Let’s talk about why asking for help is so hard—and how you can shift your mindset to make space for the support you deserve.

Why Is Asking for Help So Hard?

There are so many reasons why it can feel uncomfortable or even impossible to ask for help during postpartum:

• You’re used to being the helper. You’re the one who takes care of others, not the one who needs care.
• You think you should have it figured out. There’s this unspoken pressure that being a parent—especially if it’s not your first baby—should feel natural or easy.
• You don’t want to be a bother. Even when friends and family want to help, we hesitate to accept it out of fear we’re interrupting their lives.
• You feel like asking means you’re not coping. But the reality? You can be coping and need support at the same time.
• Or maybe you were raised to be independent or self-sufficient and asking for help could be interpreted as a sign of weakness.

Listen, postpartum is physically and emotionally intense. You’re healing, adjusting, and learning all at once—often on very little sleep. Of course you need help. But here’s the truth: Needing help doesn’t mean you’re failing. It means you’re human. And if there’s ever a time in life where support is not just helpful but essential, it’s right now.

What Support Can Look Like

Support doesn’t have to be dramatic or all-consuming. It might look like:

• A friend bringing you a hot meal and holding your baby while you shower.
• A partner taking over baby duties for a few hours so you can nap.
• A family member folding laundry or picking up groceries.
• A text from someone who genuinely wants to check in on you, not just the baby.

Sometimes it’s just having someone to sit with you, no solutions needed—just company.

You can also think of support in three ways:  practical, emotional, or simply present. It doesn’t have to be grand—it just has to be real. Let’s look at a few more examples a little closer. This may give you a better picture of what postpartum support might look like:

• Physical support: Someone brings you a hot meal, cleans your kitchen, folds a load of laundry, or takes your baby for a walk while you nap.
• Emotional support: A friend who checks in with a text that says, “How are you doing today?” and really wants to know.
• Partner support: Sharing baby care responsibilities, handling overnight feedings, or simply making space for you to vent.
• Professional support: Lactation consultants, postpartum doulas, therapists, or support groups who are trained to walk with you through this phase.

Sometimes it’s just can be having someone to sit with you, no solutions needed—just company. You’re not being needy. You’re recognizing your needs—and that’s healthy.

How to Ask for (and Accept) Help

So, let’s explore Here are a few gentle strategies to help you begin asking for and accepting the support you need:

1. Be specific.
People want to help, but they often don’t know how. Instead of saying, “I need help,” try, “Would you be able to bring over dinner on Thursday?” or “Can you come by for 30 minutes while I take a shower?”

2. Identify your support circle.
Take a few minutes to jot down a list of people you trust. Then think about the kind of help they might be able to offer. Some are great listeners, some are task-oriented, and some can offer a calm presence when you just need to cry and not explain why.

3. Practice saying yes.
When someone offers help, it’s okay to say yes without apologizing. Practice responding with: “That would be really helpful, thank you.” Let it feel awkward at first—it gets easier.

4. Release the guilt.
You’re not “bothering” anyone by asking for support. In fact, people often want to be there for you—but they need your permission to step in.

5. Use simple scripts.
If you're unsure how to start the conversation, try:

• “Hey, I’m feeling a little stretched—would you mind [insert request]?”
• “I’d really appreciate a hand with [task]. Is that something you’re up for?”
• “This week is feeling rough. Could I lean on you for a little help?”

Remember, postpartum isn’t meant to be navigated alone. Let go of the myth that strong mothers don’t need help. You’re doing the incredibly important work of caring for a new life—but you also deserve to be cared for too. Your strength comes from knowing when to ask for help and then accepting that help, which could be the difference for a happier healthier you, your baby and your family.

When that feeling creeps in—that sense of being a burden, of not wanting to ask, or thinking you should be able to handle it all even when you're struggling, or the guilt of being raised to be independent—or maybe you're so overwhelmed you don’t even know what kind of help you need... pause and remember this gentle reminder: You are not a burden. You are allowed to need. You can (and should) ask for support. And you do not have to do this alone.

Parents, I truly hope this information has been helpful. I can’t tell you how often I see moms taking on so much during the early postpartum period. Please, take the time to heal, bond, rest, and rejuvenate. Your body, your family, and your new baby will benefit greatly.

If you're listening to this episode and know someone who could benefit from it, please share it with them. And if you can, be a part of that new mom’s support team—she shouldn’t have to do this alone.

Until next time, take care.

Tags: #postpartum, #asking for help, #new mom, #postpartum support, #self-care, #mom guilt, #motherhood, #healing after birth, #family support, #breastfeeding support, #postpartum recovery, #new mom tips, #postpartum mental health, #strength in asking, #postpartum wellness, #accepting help, #rest and rejuvenation